Friday, June 5, 2009

Well hell...

Why, exactly am I posing a blog? I'm not sure, for myself I think. B/c I don't know who reads this or do I really think I care. Today, I post this blog for myself to make myself feel better.
Since being home my world has been turned up side down.  He broke up with me, can you believe it? I certainly didn't there for a while.  But I think I've come to terms with it in some ways. It'll take a lot of time to come to peace with it but its something I'm working towards.
For a while, I hated the fact that I went to Italy b/c I thought it was the reason he broke up with me. And maybe it was. But I don't regret it anymore, my time in Italy empowered me. I know I can live on my own, in a foreign country for at least 4 months. I know that I can make myself happy when thats all I have. I know that I am strong, so much stronger than I know and give myself credit for. I can't even count the amazing things I learned about myself while in Italy.  Today, I am grateful for doing it, and I think I will be forever grateful for it too.  
I think thats why I felt the need to post this blog.  B/c I need to remind myself that I did love my time abroad, as hard as it was, I am thankful for it.
I'm a strong person for keeping with it and seeing it to the end.
Now the real question is this : what kind of man was I with that it took 4 months of me being away to realize he "wasn't happy" with me? the answer: a weak, lying, coward. 
I'm stronger than him. And one day I'll prove it to the world.

If you pray, pray for me. If you don't (and thats cool b/c I don't pray either) then send strength and happy thoughts my way. 

I know I can do this.

Italy has made me a better, stronger person.



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