Saturday, April 11, 2009

I've learned a lot...

From my time here.
For example:
I know, without a doubt, that I belong wherever Keith is.
I have never been so proud to be an American.
I know that they miss me even though it doesn't always seem like it all the time.
I know that they mean more to me now than they did before I left.
I need a Rutherford burger more than I need pasta.
I like American ice cream just as much as gelato.
I feel like the relationship with my parents has strengthened since I've been here.
I know that I can do it, I just don't want to do it alone.
I've surprised myself and continue too.
I know Gemini misses me and won't forget me.
I hate the fact that I'm missing important moments in my loved ones lives.
I know they don't really understand what its like to live away from your entire support system.
I know they don't understand what homesickness really feels like either.
I know I am strong.
I know thats its hard on him too, that he is stronger than me, and that he keeps me together.
I know that I have learned more than just painting techniques from Marsha.
I really really really love my privacy.
I know its ok to just be me, not who they expect me to be.
I like Kentucky, even Lincoln County.

Today, in case you can't tell, I have been feeling extremely homesick.  And felt the need to make a list of things that I have learned while I'm here, not a technical list, like the few phrases I've learned in Italian, but things that I've learned about myself.  Things that I know I'll be proud of when I leave here.  Last semester when I was debating on whether or not I was really going to study abroad or not, I was told that it was an experience I would never forget.  Good or bad.  And I completely agree, and its been both good and bad.  And I'm glad I did it and have continued to do it.  I've learned so much. About Myself. the World and My World. Italy. People. Art. Relationships. Religion. I've learned so much.  And will always be grateful.  Part me is writing this so that I don't forget it.  Sometimes, homesickness can get me pretty down and I need a reminder.  I think its been brought on by the fact that tomorrow is Easter and I have no plans.  I won't be seeing my niece is her easter outfit, hunting eggs.  Nor be eating dinner at home with my parents.  I won't get to spend my 6th Easter with Keith, when it feels like I took 1-5 for granted.  I like Italy a lot, just not today.

34 days and counting...


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